I agree, your pen palming is a bit too tense, we can "feel" the palm. If we, as magician, see something weird, your audience will too.
The routining is not too bad, but there's definitely room for improvement.
Some insights :
- Work on your pen palm, make it look more natural.
- Add some subtleties to your coin work, like showing both hands empty before retrieving the coin from the cap.
- Try spending less time with your pen on your ear, it looks akward when you spen too much time in this position.
- You have some patter issues : Don't use magician terms, like "Routine" (We'll try a routine with a pen and a coin). Laymen have no clue on what is a routine. Also, don't describe what you do, but try to construct a real patter.
For example, instead of : "If I take the coin, and put it in my hand like this, and wave over, the coin disappears", with my personnal style, I would say something like :
"Okay let's try this *I put the coin in the other hand*.".
"Would you believe me if I could slam the coin inside the cap without you seeing anything ?"
*Answer from the audience*
"Okay, let's go ! TAAAH ! *martial-arts-like kiai as I slam the pen in my hand*".
"Now the problem is, how do I get it out ? Actually, the coin shrunk inside, but if you shake... the cap... *pause* like a maniac... *shakes the cap multiple times, passing it in left and right hand, while putting the coin on the table under misdirection*
"It doesn't work. But maybe that's because the coin is already on the table ? *points at the coin*"
