I'd suggest you start with Kenton Knepper's manuscript on the Duct Tape Blindfold, this is going to help you greatly improve on what you've got set here. But you might want to spend a good 6+ months just learning about blindfold work, it's not all that easy to make it convincing and too, most performers fail to distinguish whether they are working from Intuition, using Clairvoyance or Telepathy. . . because of the barrage of cynicism found in magic we've taken a "it doesn't matter" attitude which really does hurt what we do. A Telepathist cannot tell you how much change you have in a pocket unless you have first counted it; a Clairvoyant can however because that ability allows them to see things "remotely" as in, inside sealed envelopes, boxes, your pocket, etc. The Intuitionist might be able to describe the change in your pocket but they rarely are able to give an exact sum.
Couple techniques; here you are doing the thing with raising hands but it's a perfect set up for Jerome Finley's handling of the old Sinner/Saint routine known as Thought Channel (brace yourself, it's not cheap). Personally, I can see you going a very long way if you were to toss TC into this bit, it will open a ton of doorways for you.
Stop looking at the work as a "trick"! This is the biggest mistake magicians make when it comes to Mentalism. Our goal as Mentalists is to illicit belief from the patron; screw this rhetoric about the "suspension of belief", that's for stage magic. The thing that makes Mentalism unique is that regardless our cover story, we strive to make it "real". . . I don't mean esoteric or paranormal (though many do) but allowing our demonstration/presentation to have a sense of validity be it quasi-science, psychology, old wives tales & superstitions, etc. Mentalism is experiential not an observational art; it requires participation by ALL present in order to know optimum impact.
You have a good starting point but I think you need some more R&D time. One manuscript I'd suggest you track down is Eddie Joseph's "INTUITIONAL SIGHT". While the whole Bread Dough thing is great for comedy, it's messy as hell, so you may wish to ignore that part of the act and simply study the "tests" in that the whole act is based on NATURAL Human Intuition. This is the act I started with decades ago and still holds sway over how I do my work and set my claims.
