Do the Vernon one handed shuffle with two hands, that's the bad joke bit.
If you really want to create something new ( A challenge to you ) I have an idea of an effect. What the effect is that there is a large hole in the card box, you hold the cards in one hand, this box with a hole on one face side in the other, you gently rub the box on the cards and some cards magically travel in the closed box( they can see the cards through the hole) now with another rub half the cards in your hand previously are now in the box, and last and final rub and all the cards are in the box except for their selection ( which they never made ) and voila that's my effect called "HOYLE".
I haven't created it yet but its in my mind perhaps the forum members will also take it as a challenge.
P.S I use Bonus brand decks they already have a spade shaped hole in the box you can search it on Google for reference.