Diary of a Nitwit Magician
- Thread starter Morgan B
- Start date
- Status
Day 9
I tried to get into the bar last night, but the bouncer wouldn’t let me in with my Hippity Hop Rabbits. He said they were dangerous. What an idiot! The Bouncer said I could leave them at the front door, but I was worried someone would look at the trick and figure out how it was done, and a good magician never reveals his secrets by leaving his stuff in a coat room, that is for sure.
So instead, I stayed out front of the bar, and decided to do street magic like I saw on TV, but nobody really wanted to watch. Finally I got this guy and his girlfriend to watch me do Hippity Hop Rabbits...I don’t think they understood it because they didn’t really react. The boyfriend just said, “Nice trick”. It made me really angry he called it a trick, but I remember Tom saying that it was my job to educate people on what magic is, so I said, “It is magic A-hole...tricks are what your mom does”. He told me to F off and he and his girlfriend walked away. He didn’t even tip me! I just think he was upset and jealous because his girlfriend likes me...you could tell by the way she was rolling her eyes and shaking her head, like she was totally blown away!
I think I am going to go to the magic shop tomorrow – I am sure there are better tricks that are much easier.
I tried to get into the bar last night, but the bouncer wouldn’t let me in with my Hippity Hop Rabbits. He said they were dangerous. What an idiot! The Bouncer said I could leave them at the front door, but I was worried someone would look at the trick and figure out how it was done, and a good magician never reveals his secrets by leaving his stuff in a coat room, that is for sure.
So instead, I stayed out front of the bar, and decided to do street magic like I saw on TV, but nobody really wanted to watch. Finally I got this guy and his girlfriend to watch me do Hippity Hop Rabbits...I don’t think they understood it because they didn’t really react. The boyfriend just said, “Nice trick”. It made me really angry he called it a trick, but I remember Tom saying that it was my job to educate people on what magic is, so I said, “It is magic A-hole...tricks are what your mom does”. He told me to F off and he and his girlfriend walked away. He didn’t even tip me! I just think he was upset and jealous because his girlfriend likes me...you could tell by the way she was rolling her eyes and shaking her head, like she was totally blown away!
I think I am going to go to the magic shop tomorrow – I am sure there are better tricks that are much easier.
Day 10
So Tom wasn’t at the shop...which is good, because he gives me bad advice anyways. That magic book I got for free didn’t teach me anything and books are hard to learn from. Magic shouldn’t be hard, so I am going to buy videos. Some guys in the shop said that videos are the best way to learn.
I bought a couple Jay Sankey DVD’s; I guess I could have just bought one, because they have the same tricks on them...just in a different order. Anyways, I think these videos are going to make me AWESOME, because this Sankey guy even tells you what to say. Also, according to this Sankey guy, there are only a few moves in card magic...a thing called an Erdnase? Also, something called the KY move? I am not to sure, they seem hard to do. Anyhow, I am not far away from learning all there is in card magic.
I am totally going to get laid.
So Tom wasn’t at the shop...which is good, because he gives me bad advice anyways. That magic book I got for free didn’t teach me anything and books are hard to learn from. Magic shouldn’t be hard, so I am going to buy videos. Some guys in the shop said that videos are the best way to learn.
I bought a couple Jay Sankey DVD’s; I guess I could have just bought one, because they have the same tricks on them...just in a different order. Anyways, I think these videos are going to make me AWESOME, because this Sankey guy even tells you what to say. Also, according to this Sankey guy, there are only a few moves in card magic...a thing called an Erdnase? Also, something called the KY move? I am not to sure, they seem hard to do. Anyhow, I am not far away from learning all there is in card magic.
I am totally going to get laid.
I don't get, I really don't.
I mean, obviously I understand the parody, but it's not funny at all. It's actually pretty immature, and a bit arrogant at times.
But apparently I have a really strange sense of humor, becuase pretty much everyone else here says it's by far the greatest piece of comedy they have ever seen.
Oh, well, as long as it makes people laugh, I guess. Have fun.
I mean, obviously I understand the parody, but it's not funny at all. It's actually pretty immature, and a bit arrogant at times.
But apparently I have a really strange sense of humor, becuase pretty much everyone else here says it's by far the greatest piece of comedy they have ever seen.
Oh, well, as long as it makes people laugh, I guess. Have fun.
I love this so much! If you publish a book of these, I'll buy it right away.
Do we have your permission to compile these into word documents for our own personal reading pleasure if we want to?
Do we have your permission to compile these into word documents for our own personal reading pleasure if we want to?
Day 11
I went back to the Magic shop to try and return one of the Sankey videos, but Jeff wouldn’t let me. However, I met a guy named Brian that is new to magic and I traded it with him for a trick. I think he ripped me off though. He gave me this trick he said was awesome called the Invisible Deck, but I could totally see it, so it is probably broke. When I got home, I opened the deck and realized he DID rip me off! I think this Brian guy is an A-hole like Tom, because he shuffled the Invisible deck so all the cards were face up and face down, it took me like 20 minutes to put them all back in the same direction. OH well, at least I have a full deck of cards, but they don’t spread too well. Whatever, it’s better than nothing. Why are there only Dicks at the magic shop?
I went back to the Magic shop to try and return one of the Sankey videos, but Jeff wouldn’t let me. However, I met a guy named Brian that is new to magic and I traded it with him for a trick. I think he ripped me off though. He gave me this trick he said was awesome called the Invisible Deck, but I could totally see it, so it is probably broke. When I got home, I opened the deck and realized he DID rip me off! I think this Brian guy is an A-hole like Tom, because he shuffled the Invisible deck so all the cards were face up and face down, it took me like 20 minutes to put them all back in the same direction. OH well, at least I have a full deck of cards, but they don’t spread too well. Whatever, it’s better than nothing. Why are there only Dicks at the magic shop?
Last edited by a moderator:
Alright in the beginning I thought that this was funny because I thought this was real, but now I think he's just trying to be funny.
I get the humor and think it's funny, but I haven't even chuckled once. It's not excellent comedy, but it's a fun read.
Day 11
I am almost ready to give up magic. What a bad day! I went to my first magic meeting. I was really nervous. I just sat in the back row during the meeting. In magic meetings, everyone does a trick but they screwed up every single one because after a magician would show a trick, nobody would react, then the others would say some other guys name, or the name of the trick or what they do differently. Tom was full of crap, how am I supposed to get better when all these guys couldn’t even fool each other?
Before the meeting was over, I ran into Brian – he asked me how I liked the Invisible Deck – I wanted to tell him he ripped me off, but I just said it was okay. He freaked out and said, “Okay?! Some people consider it the best trick in magic”, I guess this is how magicians talk to each other, I was just thinking I wish the deck he gave me wasn’t broke.
In short, magicians seem to be very negative about everything people do...
I am almost ready to give up magic. What a bad day! I went to my first magic meeting. I was really nervous. I just sat in the back row during the meeting. In magic meetings, everyone does a trick but they screwed up every single one because after a magician would show a trick, nobody would react, then the others would say some other guys name, or the name of the trick or what they do differently. Tom was full of crap, how am I supposed to get better when all these guys couldn’t even fool each other?
Before the meeting was over, I ran into Brian – he asked me how I liked the Invisible Deck – I wanted to tell him he ripped me off, but I just said it was okay. He freaked out and said, “Okay?! Some people consider it the best trick in magic”, I guess this is how magicians talk to each other, I was just thinking I wish the deck he gave me wasn’t broke.
In short, magicians seem to be very negative about everything people do...
That star trek image is amazing. Wow.
This thread also is great - To those criticizing it, remember who the author is... There's bound to be SOME underlying messages throughout.
If you can find the crazy hidden images on the T11 newsletters, I'm sure you can locate that!
D.
This thread also is great - To those criticizing it, remember who the author is... There's bound to be SOME underlying messages throughout.
If you can find the crazy hidden images on the T11 newsletters, I'm sure you can locate that!
D.
probably gonna get flamed for this but...
entertaining read. abit annoying to be honest, i dont see why people consider it comical genious.
either people here have abit of an immature sense of humour, or maybe i just dont understand this.
didnt laugh once while reading...
just my opinion
entertaining read. abit annoying to be honest, i dont see why people consider it comical genious.
either people here have abit of an immature sense of humour, or maybe i just dont understand this.
didnt laugh once while reading...
just my opinion
- Status