Diary of a Nitwit Magician

[Chase]

dude.. it's not real. read morgician's other posts outside of this thread.

Au contraire, mon ami jimmah.

It is much more real than you are giving it credit for.

I don't know which is more scary/funny/terrifying/hysterical:

1. That people think this is completely real.

2. That people think this is completely made up.

3. That people think I can't discern farce when I see it.

4. That people think that I would actually give the above advice if I thought it was real.

5. That many of these entries could have been taken from my own diary 25 years ago.

Ahhhhh. The pain makes it funnier.

 

[Chase]

Dear Chase,

right to the point of what we really want in magic - people to watch. Magic IS an art!


I think people will appreciate having a diverse and multicultural character.


Anyhow - I am probably going to publish some stuff soon, so everyone here will respect me and my opinions more and worship me like they do all the T11 guys.

Stoppit. I cried out a contact I laughed so hard.

If you want to be super multicultural try YouTubing Cyril Takawhatever. You can even do a routine in Japanese. Don't let complete ignorance of the language stop you. Just make "Japanese" sounding noises. It's easy with a little practice. No one will know and you will look like a real global artist.

 

[Squ!rrel]

Au contraire, mon ami jimmah.

It is much more real than you are giving it credit for.

I don't know which is more scary/funny/terrifying/hysterical:

1. That people think this is completely real.

2. That people think this is completely made up.

3. That people think I can't discern farce when I see it.

4. That people think that I would actually give the above advice if I thought it was real.

5. That many of these entries could have been taken from my own diary 25 years ago.

Ahhhhh. The pain makes it funnier.

It is quite shocking that anybody would think it is real or think your reply was serious.

Although, I just don't think it's funny anymore. There's a limited amount of humour in this. Once you've covered 'These tricks will get me laid' 'The professional is an a-hole' and 'They didn't like my 21 card trick because they're jealous'. I don't think there's much more you can do with it after that.

 

[tsarothpaco]

Yeah its getting a little less, but he can throw in some things to make it real funny. I'm thinking of something imparticular, but I won't say...just hope he puts it in the diary.

~PaCo

 

[Morgan B]

I was aiming for 30 days, but I think it is time…

I just started writing and offered no reason, or rhyme – but I assumed the general audiences would figure it out, see the lessons and the irony – a few did, and for those people I thank you.

Moreover, for those that have enjoyed reading a parody (with a large amount of truth as a perspective of new magicians and how “so called” veteran magicians treat these guys) on the experience of someone new to magic. Thank you.

I never said it was supposed to be funny (although some small humour was thrown in)…not did I say it was supposed to be smart…or deferential or anything to the contrary. There is a moral to the story…a reflection…it was meant to be good for a quick smile and then we move on to argue about what Triumph method is best…but if you posted anything, it served its purpose…if you understood, laughed or grew because of it – that is a great bonus.
For those that are only judging it on funny versus unfunny – be ashamed of yourself – Your quick assessment of something meant to be up for translation is what maintains the status quo of magic. Magic is NOT AN ART BECAUSE of this attitude. I would have been more impressed to hear different opinions on the same topic like – “it made me angry…it opened my eyes to how I treat new magicians that don’t understand the magic circle…it made me laugh a little but not too much…I hated it”. THIS is closer to the concept of art. HOWEVER – I don’t claim it is ART either, I just claim it IS. It was meant to be whatever you think it is…so in that sense, perhaps it is art. So, is it not enough to allow people to see what is for them, as you have been free to do the same? Many chose it at its simplicity – that is fine – your conclusion comes because you were tired of thinking.

I challenge any of you to spend the time it has taken and the guts to expose yourself in writing in same free open forum as I have – just so you know, stating something sucks or evaluating it without suggesting how to improve it IS the most SIMPLE form of critical thinking. A child can complain, but it takes true intelligence to offer something in place of what you feel lacks. Then you wonder why magic is not respected as an art form or as an academic pursuit – why parents say to you, “I wish my 3 year old was here” when you just finished doing a very skilled effect.

THEREFORE, FOR ALL THOSE THAT JUST EVALUATED or for THOSE THAT HAVE ENJOYED THIS BUT SEE AVENUES – I NOW CHALLENGE YOU TO ADD YOUR OWN JOURNAL ENTRY! I think it would be fun to see what is on your mind…more importantly; it allows many to put more than your opinion on the line – although, I think few that commented negatively will have the guts to do it , I still hope you step up to the challenge.


RULES OF POSTING IN THE DIARY -

Keep the character alive - maintain the story line from where the last person left off
Write the DAY JOURNAL ENTRY IN BOLD whne you start ie DAY 20
Have fun!

 

[blahblah]

day 17

I went to the bar and applied for a job, the man asked me to perform a trick, I performed the MIND READER trick with the colours, he thought of the colour yellow and looked at the pen and was said tom did that one three years ago, I think he likes my tricks.

he asked me to do a trial day and when I got there tom was performing a card trick to these to girls. I pushed him out of the way, called him an A-hole and did LF monte, when they saw the card with the writing on they said they had to go because they had suddenly rememberd they had both left their ovens on. I asked them for their numbers but they said they were in a rush, im so gonna get laid!

on the way home at about 11 at night I bumbed into a young man, he was there with his freinds and they got mad at me just because I bumped into them. I called them A-holes and they ran after me, when I got home I had a hot bath, then I realised there was no hot water so I boiled the kettle and poured myself two cups of cofee, while the kettle was boiling I went into the street and asked a girl if she wanted to come round to my house for some cofee, she said she was busy!!! its a shame, I was about to do LF monte. When I got home the kettle had boiled and I drunk two cups of cofee. Then I went to bed...

(what do you think???)

 

[Morgan B]

I think you need a spell checker and you should see if you can officially be diagnosed with alexithymia - appreciate the attempt, but you didn't really add anything...like many magicians with magic...you basically recycled the sh*t someone else came up with.

Sloppy seconds anyone?

For the first attempt, it was what I imagined. Thanks. Perhaps for your next attempt, think about some common situations that have occurred and frustrated you with your magic. This was kinda the theme of our Nitwit magician.

 

[blahblah]

ok oh well.

 

[jimmah01]

I appreciate the attempt, but you didn't really add anything...like many magicians with magic...you basically recycled the sh*t someone else came up with.

hahahahaha.. great response!! i was about to say, that last diary entry was pretty much all of the other entries just amalgamated into one kinda poor attempt at a knock-off.

 

[Squ!rrel]

I was aiming for 30 days, but I think it is time…

I just started writing and offered no reason, or rhyme – but I assumed the general audiences would figure it out, see the lessons and the irony – a few did, and for those people I thank you.

Moreover, for those that have enjoyed reading a parody (with a large amount of truth as a perspective of new magicians and how “so called” veteran magicians treat these guys) on the experience of someone new to magic. Thank you.

I never said it was supposed to be funny (although some small humour was thrown in)…not did I say it was supposed to be smart…or deferential or anything to the contrary. There is a moral to the story…a reflection…it was meant to be good for a quick smile and then we move on to argue about what Triumph method is best…but if you posted anything, it served its purpose…if you understood, laughed or grew because of it – that is a great bonus.
For those that are only judging it on funny versus unfunny – be ashamed of yourself – Your quick assessment of something meant to be up for translation is what maintains the status quo of magic. Magic is NOT AN ART BECAUSE of this attitude. I would have been more impressed to hear different opinions on the same topic like – “it made me angry…it opened my eyes to how I treat new magicians that don’t understand the magic circle…it made me laugh a little but not too much…I hated it”. THIS is closer to the concept of art. HOWEVER – I don’t claim it is ART either, I just claim it IS. It was meant to be whatever you think it is…so in that sense, perhaps it is art. So, is it not enough to allow people to see what is for them, as you have been free to do the same? Many chose it at its simplicity – that is fine – your conclusion comes because you were tired of thinking.

I was expecting this to turn into a statement about the lack of respect for our art at some point. You've raised some interesting points in the past, I haven't always agreed with them but they did seem well thought out. However, i'm having a bit of trouble working out what your point is this time.
Could you clarify this for me?

 

[Morgan B]

hmm, that is sort of hard - because my point is that there is no point - or there is - I mean, like art - you get what you want from it. However, I think it is a flaw to judge so quickly on one characteristic - funny or not - and not consider other concepts.

In the Diary, I made references to common situations that plague magic on the end of the new magician, and the perception of who he deals with in his journey - I dealt with preconceived notions of learning magic (it's easy), motivation to do magic (to get girls) and I would hope it makes you reflect those things in your life. The humour wasn't meant to be side splitting - I think Chase nailed it on the head with his bullet formed concepts.

The things I liked - someone said it was condescending...sorta funny...arrogant...I like these comments. However, why did it make you feel this way? What was it that made you feel it was arrogant? What cord did it strike?

In short though - I only wanted people to read it and reflect - I am surprised that people wouldn't enjoy a free reading for pleasure...but leave it to magicians to turn something for fun, into something to debate, analyse and argue.

Anyhow - Squ!rrel - I really appreciate this:

You've raised some interesting points in the past, I haven't always agreed with them but they did seem well thought out.

This is perhaps the kindest thing someone could say - as it shows you are thinking too - we don't have to agree, but we can think together - and this creates progress. If we can't use this forum to grow together, why are we here?

Clear as mud?

 

[Squ!rrel]

hmm, that is sort of hard - because my point is that there is no point - or there is - I mean, like art - you get what you want from it. However, I think it is a flaw to judge so quickly on one characteristic - funny or not - and not consider other concepts.

In the Diary, I made references to common situations that plague magic on the end of the new magician, and the perception of who he deals with in his journey - I dealt with preconceived notions of learning magic (it's easy), motivation to do magic (to get girls) and I would hope it makes you reflect those things in your life. The humour wasn't meant to be side splitting - I think Chase nailed it on the head with his bullet formed concepts.

The things I liked - someone said it was condescending...sorta funny...arrogant...I like these comments. However, why did it make you feel this way? What was it that made you feel it was arrogant? What cord did it strike?

In short though - I only wanted people to read it and reflect - I am surprised that people wouldn't enjoy a free reading for pleasure...but leave it to magicians to turn something for fun, into something to debate, analyse and argue.

Anyhow - Squ!rrel - I really appreciate this:

You've raised some interesting points in the past, I haven't always agreed with them but they did seem well thought out.

This is perhaps the kindest thing someone could say - as it shows you are thinking too - we don't have to agree, but we can think together - and this creates progress. If we can't use this forum to grow together, why are we here?

Clear as mud?

I certainly agree that thinking together is essential if we want to improve magic and is one of the best possible uses of this forum. I just don't know that this diary was one of the best ways to do it.

This is why I think so many people judged it purely as being funny or unfunny. We know there are beginners who have little respect for the art, who think it will be easy, use it to get girls etc. It's something any decent magician is aware of and probably thinks about a lot and is a subject that is frequently discussed on many magic forums. The diary simply brought this up again and didn't really seem to bring much to the discussion. As there wasn't anything new, people thought it was simply supposed to be a humourous take on a frequently discussed subject.

The attitude of these people and the way we treat them is an important subject and an interesting discussion. I think it would be better to create a thread about this and make the purpose of the thread obvious.

It was certainly an interesting way of approaching the subject but in my opinion probably not the best.

I just read over my post and it does seem slightly confusing but hopefully you can understand what i'm saying.

 

[Morgan B]

No I understand, your last posts makes sense - feel free to take the ball and make a thread where people can argue.

I guess it is the difference between a film or documentary and perhaps...well, something not considered art - but more of a political debate. I didn't want to debate...and honestly, I didnt' get to finish my 30 days - but I don't think that will happen now, as I really have no interest in spending my time finishing the story FOR FREE when I could put my time to better things.

One bad apple, right?

Anyhow, I hope you understand the difference of what was being delivered and why I chose a different approach. Regardless if it was finished or not....

Thanks.

 

[Phatmeat]

"I bought a couple Jay Sankey DVD’s; I guess I could have just bought one, because they have the same tricks on them...just in a different order." lol

Love it.

 

[Sean_Raf]

Day 18

OMG THE INTERNET IS SO COOL! I learned a whole new load of tricks in one night and I didn't have to pay and guess what, they're so easy!! I'm going to show my mom when she gets home from work she's going to love it. I also found these websites where people talk to each other about magic (lol these people must not be getting laid or something they talk too much). I posted saying how many tricks I knew but they just got jealous and started shouting at me - jerks. 3 tricks?! Who the f<udge> only does 3 tricks!? Some lame magician maybe.

I started looking at this thing called the puss or something. It's super hard, I don't think anyone can really do it and it's just a made up move or something. I'm going to try it tomorrow at school to see if it works. I also picked up this book by BooBoo or something, it's only about stupid coin magic though, and some of it is so obvious any magician could figure that out. I mean the retentical vanish or whatever, c'mon even I can see that it doesn't go into the hand; it's just as stupid as that rub-a-d<u>ck vanish with cards - How obvious is that!

Anyway, I'm going to go look at youtube again and master some really cool tricks, I can't wait 'til mom gets home and I show her all these!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Sean

 

[4757joshua2]

Day 18

I finally got the puss down! All I have to do is say "Look at that distraction!" and do it when they aren't looking. I also invented this cool trick where I show the top card, do the Distraction Puss, and then show them that the top card has changed! I have not tried it out yet, but I know that it is going to kill

DAY 19

I talked to Tom again today. A-hole! He was telling me that the Puss is actually called a Pass. %&#$ those idiots! Like EVERYONE knows it is called the puss.

Later that night I cornered two girls. It was the BEST show I have ever done! I am a genius!

I did the "Distraction Puss" trick on them and they loved it! They were so shocked that all they could do was stand there and look at me. You know, that "???" kind of look.

I figured "Can't have to much of a good thing right?" and did it two more times.

On the third time around I got busted. D*** I hate hecklers! I said "Look at that distraction!" and she was like: "Bull S%&#!!!!!" and she slapped the cards out of my hand.

BUT. I made two tricks in a row without making any mistakes! I really am a magician!

I bet Tom has never done two in a row!

More to come....

 

[Morgan B]

Sean - hilaious - great job - maintained the character and added some funny misnomers - I loved BooBoo's coin magic. haha.

Josh - interesting concept - so much truth in the idea of what it is to be "good".

Nice to see some progress - thanks guys.

 

[williamlitzler]

stolen story

This inspiring story was lifted from "How to Pick up Chicks Like Magic" by David Copperfield (1985, St Martin Press.)

 

[Michael Kras]

Day 20

I've been practicing my distractions, I think telling the people watching me that there's a celebrity behind them helps, especially since the puss is obvious without like 5 seconds of distraction. I'll try it tonight and see what happens.

I also learned the BooBoo switch from that stupid book, I'm also going to get some insane reactions with that tonight! I can't wait!

Time to get a new deck of cards too, mine are getting old. I'll go down to the dollar store and get another one tonight. I also gotta learn some better tricks, these ones haven't got me laid once let!!! I'll search "Criss Angel Revealed" on Youtube tonight and see if I can learn how he floated on top of that pyramid in Egypt that one time.

 

[dragon521]

DAY 21

My distractions didn't work to well. I tried telling these girls that Brad Pitt was behind them, too bad they knew Brad lives in Los Angeles. When I tried to do the puss they said they saw it and said I sucked. A-Holes...

I went back on the internet today. Boy, what a great place. I don't even think I have to perform to real people any more. There weren't any tutorials on Youtube of Chris Angel's pyramid levitation. I was so mad! However I did find a man named Derren Yellow or something who can turn people into zombies with his mind. I have to learn this National Lemon Programming that he uses. When I learn it I'll be able to take over the World!

Every magic website I go to is underground (which I don't understand, I mean I can get on these websites from my kitchen, which is on ground level). The two websites I go on are Idea11 and Ellusionist (they don't know how to spell lol). I love Brad Christian, he is my idol. I think I like ellusionist more but all of the people at Idea11 say Ellsuionist is cheap and Brad Christian is stupid and doesn't grive credit for his tricks. Pfft who needs to do that, he invented every trick anyway. Besides the people at Idea11 are perverts. I was telling them how good i was and one of them said he wanted to do this battle thing. I asked him what it was and how to do it and he asked me if I had a webcam (he thought I was stupid and didn't know what people use webcams for. Good thing my grandma brought me that article!) I told him I wasn't going to show him any of my body parts over the internet. What an A-Hole Perv.

Apparently the only cards I am supposed to use if I want to be a real magician are these Chicken Nugget decks which are only available on ebay. They cost $150 each so I am going to sell my car and buy as many decks as I can.